Signing in the Waldenbooks Song

I just found this funny video made by author Parnell Hall about an ill-fated book signing. Enjoy

Thanks to Nathan Bransford for discovering it

I Might Be Just A Little Stupid…

It turns out that I might be better at hiding things than I thought. So good, in fact, that I can never find what I hid ever again. Today my mother came to visit me at school, carrying a familiar purse that held a familiar pair of memory sticks. They were hidden amongst my pajamas this whole time. Genius.

Sometimes I wonder if the little stupid person inside me has more time in the spotlight than the rest of me does.

The Damsel In Distress AKA The Weak Female Character

I posted before about my struggles with stronger females, the kind who can easily become too perfect. Now I’m going to write about the girls on the opposite end of the scale: the trembling female characters who need help to get by, and often become the Damsel In Distress. From my experience, readers loathe the little damsels and all their anti-feminist connotations. I think they can be effective if done well. I’m hoping I will be one of the few who can do it.

Last month, I started a new novel that I’m tentatively calling “Golden”. The main character is a highly-strung mess grieving for her boyfriend, who recently died by way of a flying accident. By the way, all these characters are faeries. Oh, don’t hold your applause. I know how lame these kinds of stories can get

Anyway, this teenage faerie girl is quite possibly too flaky. I’m about ten thousand words in and already freaking out over how on earth I’m going to make her the heroine in the end. No small task. The majority of novels on my shelf feature strong, ass-kicking young women. I have “Wings” by Aprilynne on my shelf, where the main character is a much gentler sort of person. I think I may have to do some digging and find other books like that. Oh, and “Willow” by Julia Hoban, too. Time for some study, I suppose.

In any case (see how I almost wrote “anyway” again?), here is my opinion on the gentler female characters: she needs to be somewhat independent and can’t constantly rely on others. She has to have stronger aspects of her personality, meaning she can’t be all quivery, all the time. It may be best to step away from the cliché ”I really do need you help but my ego is so fragile that I can’t admit it so I’ll whinge and moan about you rescuing me” sort of character. There are plenty of them in the world already, methinks.

There also has to be a good reason why she is the way she is, what sort of events happened in her past. Maybe her best friend fell down a well and died when she was five, or maybe she was just pampered and spoiled her whole life and expects everyone to pander to her every whim.

So many possibilities, so many terrifying prospects. Gah. Ooh, Muse is playing on my iPod. Toodles.

(Image from http://picasaweb.google.com/silverghost1951/DamselsInDistress#5229956470488286514)

The Strong Female Character

We’ve all seen it before: those plucky ladies who can run faster, jump higher, hit harder and just generally beat their male counterparts in everything they set their minds to. Some of them most likely would abhor the term ‘lady’ if it was ever used to describe them. These characters earn a resounding cheer from female readers. I love ‘em, and most of my major female characters are some variation of this archetype. Sadly, though, they can be overdone.

In my novel ‘Coldfire’, my protagonist’s love interest, Valora, is definitely one of these Amazonian women. She’s crazy strong, always has a witty comeback and set people on fire with her mind. She used to a very one-dimensional character, long before I began the novel. This was a long time ago, back when she was an Original Character in a Harry Potter fanfic. She was too perfect, except for her temper. She was also a certified genius, which turned out be overkill.

So I fixed her up. My main character, Darian, is a certified genius so she couldn’t be smarter than him unless I wanted her reciting the periodic table, along with each element’s isotopes and type of radiation they can emit, for approximately 100,000 words. She’s now not the sharpest tool in the shed, but still reasonably intelligent. I can’t stand dippy characters, especially when I have to spend an extended period of time with them.

Valora is now a balance between awesome (strong fighter, witty, brain-numbingly hot) and not-so-awesome (moody, scatterbrained, obnoxious).

The lesson that can be learned from here is that while strong female characters are great, they can’t be completely perfect and infallible. Readers get bored with the sassy, hot, perfect creature that kicks butt across all 200-odd pages of your masterpiece, which the layman calls a ‘book’. Like all other characters you create, these ladies (Yes, I know you’re not a lady, Valora) need to have their flaws.

(Hooray! I’m back to crapping on about things you already knew )

Trailer: “Linger” by Maggie Stiefvater

I adored “Shiver” when I read it. “Linger” is the sequel, which I, along with many readers, eagerly await. “Shiver” is essentially a love story about a boy who turns into a wolf in the winter, and the girl who loves him and helps him in his struggle to remain human.

I Didn’t Know Memory Sticks Could Grow Legs…

I’ve lost my memory stick that had most of my writing on it. I have older versions on another one and on my computer, but I’ve lost at least seven chapters of my second draft. I didn’t have all of it handwritten, since I type pieces of the already existant work and then smooth the transition into the next part of my writing. I am now sad, and have lost all desire to touch the keyboard. I’m going to check my school locker tomorrow but my hopes are not high. Perhaps I will begin to wear black in mourning, not just for the death of my memory stick and writing, but for the death of my streak of good luck. I believe it officially breathed its last today. I guess it was all used up when my school house won the annual music festival.

How did I know my luck was officially gone? I pulled my bag up and picked up my extra books that don’t fit in it while I was on the bus. The bus stopped and I got up, only to trip and fall on my backside in the middle of the aisle. Then my shoe got stuck under my seat somehow. All the year 12s on the bus got to see the show. Perhaps next time I’ll ask for a two dollar admission fee.